Siege of the Spirit

I don’t know about myself

What to feel, what to think

I am lost in a miasma of self-doubt

self recrimination

and hibernation from all that is real

My head spins

and all seems jolly

and out of reach, inexplicably

I am on top of my game

and incapacitated

Oh, self-medication

it is a curse in satan’s clothing

I know satan is the Deciever

and yet I am comfortable in his embrace

I don’t want to be.

I know God is there waiting for me

it is a huge comfort to me

but my head, my soul still cry out

and won’t listen.