Sometimes, bipolar depression can bring despair such that it wants to feed itself. My struggle in particular has to do with aging, and the realization that all the time I lost in my 30s between destructive choices and actions during acute mania, and paralyzing depression have very probably robbed me of the ability to fulfill one of my most important goals during my remaining lifetime.
Whatever the trigger, it is almost impossible at times to do what one knows is necessary to regain a handle on mental health. Such as time spent in nature. God’s amazing creation, Mother Earth, however you name it, provides one of the most healing, grounding experiences ever.
It’s very difficult to start without momentum.
This first image illustrates the cost of despair. I missed the blooming of the yucca. But I kept walking.
This second image shows what can be gained by forcing that first step.
Siege of the Spirit 