gratitude | Siege of the Spirit

Tag Archives: gratitude

Thanks for visiting, and upcoming work

May 20, 2025 – 12:30 am
Posted in Bioplar Disorder, creativity, Depression, Maintaining Mental Wellness, problem solving, writing
Tagged bipolar, bipolar disorder, creativity, depression, fantasy, gratitude, mental health, mindfulness, spirit, writing
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I’ve found there have been an unusual amount of visitors lately, which is delightful and I’m very grateful! And I’m sorry there’s not much here that’s new.

Historically, I’ve been largely writing into the void. I took a long break from any writing at all—a break that spanned years, some of them quite difficult. As I’ve returned to writing, this site has been pretty quiet and the unfortunate consequence of this is that it got sidelined in favor of other backed-up projects.

The return to writing – mainly pertaining to the characters in my fantasy mythos but other things as well – was either the trigger for my bipolar episodes to resume or the reaction to their theatrical resurgence. Honestly, I’m still trying to figure this one out.

I missed the guys so much, especially Rushak. Once they reappeared, I was both overjoyed and apprehensive. And they brought friends! With weird symbionts! I just can’t trust my psyche. I didn’t know what was going to happen. Hypomania, crushing depression, paranoia … It’s effin’ rocky. Now that I’ve got years behind me, I understand stuff, though, and am piecing together what it means.

There are aspects of this journey I very much want to share in the hope they might resonate and offer comfort, ideas or help of some kind.

I have a lot of ideas brewing once more, challenges and solutions to explore, and I will be throwing a lot more effort into posting material with relevance and at least a semblance of consistency.

Upcoming topics:

Fear of failure

Victory

And probably related fiction and/or poetry (oh joy)

So, thank for visiting, for being here, and I hope to see you again.

It’s really great in the heart of the snag …

VICTORY!!!!

March 11, 2013 – 11:43 pm
Posted in Anxiety, Bioplar Disorder, Christianity and bipolar, Getting the crazy out
Tagged anxiety, bipolar, bipolar disorder, emotional, faith, gratitude, mental health
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I have an exciting victory to share–so far as my bipolar goes. What could easily have been an epic breakdown and precipitated unfixable problems was forestalled by a hard-won exercise of mastery and self-control.

A client of my husband’s came to our home and unfairly verbally abused him, refusing to pay what he’d agreed to despite the hard work and excellent results, leaving my husband shaken and distraught. Depressed already, I was very worried about him (and still am)–besides that money was going to pay two medical bills and car registrations. Now it’s not.

I freaked out, over-reacting with an avalanche of histrionics (letting out what my stoic husband couldn’t, no doubt, express). Overwhelmed by anger, fear, despair, righteous indignation, worry, I could scarcely refrain from running from the phone to call them and speak angry words that could never be taken back. Repeatedly I asked hubby to take the phone and put it in his pocket so I could not. I was sure I was out of control. BUT…

I remembered things that until recently I could not have remembered. I don’t know why, except maybe for my faith…and the example of others.

I counted to ten repeatedly. I recalled scripture after scripture, admonishing me to curb my tongue and not speak in anger. I knew it would only make things immeasurably worse if I did so.

So I vented by writing my feelings down on yellow legal pad, for no one to see. My husband and I drove to town and took some other useful actions to diffuse our tension.

We are still very upset…I am still very upset, and I hope to deal with these feelings further using skills, and eventually achieve closure in the safety of post-crisis reflection.

So…yay! In a blog that is often so depressing, I finally have something happy to report (even if I don’t feel that way I am grateful)!!!!!

All of your positive blogs and uplifting thoughts read late at night have surely contributed to my ability to look at my situation differently and I thank you. It is true that together we can all overcome. ❤ 🙂

Thank God

October 28, 2010 – 4:29 pm
Posted in Bioplar Disorder
Tagged bipolar disorder, gratitude, life
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Today I thanked God for my bipolar disorder.
I thank God because since I have this thing, it means I was meant to, and I thank Him for the lessons it has taught me, and for the lessons I will continue to learn.
And I thank God for taking away my bitterness over it and replacing that bitterness with gratitude, at least for today.